Hello my dear friends. I have an idea for you. Have you ever kept a journal?
Maybe it’s time to start. Head over to Barnes and Nobles and pick up a blank book, or even use a notebook that’s just sitting around begging to be used for a good cause. Take your pen and let’s go. Write about the losses you’ve had over the years. Can you go way back to when you were a little kid? Did you ever lose a doll, your best ‘blankie’? Did you lose a pet? Did your best friend move away? Think of these past losses. Put them down on paper and then think. How did you cope then? What was helpful for you? Did you share your feelings with others? Do you remember crying over your loss? Were you moody and morose for days? For weeks after? Were you able to replace the lost object? Was it a growing experience for you? A learning experience?
Did that loss make the next loss easier or more difficult?
Taking time to analyze your losses and your past reactions will help you deal with present challenges. We all operate differently. Some of us are more emotional, some are more stoic. Some naturally and easily are able to share with others. Others tend to hold everything in and play the role of the martyr. Where do you fit in? What’s your style of coping? Whatever our style, we can learn and adopt new styles of coping. There are tools that we can pick up along the way….
I’d love to hear from you.. Share with me and I’m happy to share with you!
Best to all!!! Miriam
June 3rd, 2008
It has occurred to me that throughout life we go through many types of losses. Thankfully not as drastic as a death of a loved one, G-d forbid, but some of the losses can be quite traumatic and painful. Moving to a new home, leaving behind old friends can be considered a loss. Having an older sibling marry and move far away can certainly be traumatic. Losing one’s health, one’s youthful vigor as the years pass by…these certainly fall into this category.
Loss is inherent in life. There are some who master these losses better than others. Some are more resilient. Some seem to bounce back with enthusiasm; nothing gets them down. How do they do that? There are tools that seem to be helpful. Hopefully, we can explore these tools together in the near future.
Your input, all of you out there reading this blog, would be most welcome!
Best to all, Miriam
April 3rd, 2008
It’s almost 4 years already since Neal and I published our book ‘Saying Goodbye’. It’s a good feeling, knowing that our work will be there for others when lightning hits. I’ve a number of friends who are involved in similar projects. My friend Sarah just emailed me this morning asking where she can get 150 copies of our book! Sarah publishes a magazine called ‘Links’, for teenage girls who’ve sadly lost a parent. Sarah’s now preparing a package to present to these girls early on, immediately when their parent dies, to bring comfort to them just when they so desperately need it.
When I see goodness around me, when I witness caring and sharing, it warms my heart. Life can be beautiful, life can be tough. Life can be wonderful, and it can certainly be challenging. While I often still feel like a teenager myself, reality does hit me every morning when I glance into the mirror. I’ve lived quite a bit of life already and have absorbed many lessons the hard way. Whatever I’ve learnt, whatever lessons I’ve gleaned along this journey, I’m happy to share with all of you. Why should you stumble along the way? I’ve been there and done that already. I’ve paved the way.
best to all, warmly, Miriam
March 3rd, 2008
